see through me

A bit of my thoughts about life in general and things that keep it worth living...



I just chatted with a friend via messenger and one topic to another, we talked about our kind of vacation. I thought about it and you know, I realize that I am not really a “nature” kind of person.

Yeah, I am not.

Don’t get me wrong, I really appreciate the beauty of nature such as deserted beaches and their sunsets, the solitary and contemplative corners in some mountains or just a long walk across some wild forest. Those are the things that could put me into a different sort of state of mind.

But, truth to be told, I would prefer going to cities; BIG cities. The concrete jungles, the gazillion people who dwell within their veins, the pot-pourri of noises and the cocktail of artificial scents.

My friend asked me why the heck I would go to such places instead of remote places where I could be in peace, far away from any urban mess that I encounter daily.

Yet, among the mess, I find my peace.

And you know the main reason of it? It’s when you find some kind of beauty within the chaotic environment. A crimson sunset seen from emergency stairs, a flower that unexpectedly blooms on a grey sidewalk or simply a kid playing with his mother, smiling like nothing else matters on this earth. When suddenly you find one of those things you finally realize that it only takes a small thing to change the whole world around.

Suddenly you know that your life could be beautiful.

It’s when your glass becomes half-full.

I remember one time during my trip to Hong-Kong, probably one of the busiest city ever, I was nonchalantly walking around, from one small alley to another, just to feel the city. Among loud chatters, the scent of various local cuisine and the sum of all the small little things, I became concious of that unique surrounding. It’s like the city itself was opening its arms to me and embraced me saying “Welcome, dear. Please, know me better and love me.” And I looked around me. Everything was suddenly quiet, time was slowing down and yeah, everything was just falling into their right places. In the middle of busy streets of Hong-Kong, I found a quiet peace.

It was beautiful.

To feel that personal revelation, something that you can’t easily share with everyone. It was not a Kodak moment of a beautiful scenery - it was a thing that only you could feel.

Well, it didn’t last long, though. Some old guy bumped into me and started to scream at me in chinese. I could only smile and checked if my wallet was still in place.

But that’s not the point.

Geek moment ahead – I feel like I am Jack Hawksmoor from the Authority (Wildstorm, DC Comics), The God of Cities, surgically modified to be in harmony with cities, where he draws his power. Sometimes I do feel like that, in a way that I would always draw many inspirations from cities. Somewhere I would be perfectly comfortable.

I know it is hard to fall in love with such disordered places, but I think that is where the magic lies; deep within.

That is why I would prefer to go to cities for my holidays. Big cities, with all the people, the alleys, the streets, the buildings, the lights and yes, a free wi-fi connection, please.


  • At 5:45 PM, Anonymous zie said…

    kamoh begitu puitis..

  • At 4:55 PM, Anonymous ZF said…

    "Yet, among the mess, I find my peace" <-- or deep down inside you're actually scared of being alone, hehe ;)

  • At 7:27 PM, Blogger hanny said…

    hey, i love this posting. really. i do understand what you're trying to say, how it feels. I feel that way sometimes: being in the crowd--and at the same time, not being there at all.


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