see through me

A bit of my thoughts about life in general and things that keep it worth living...

27.12.05

...

To: meniek_andaruwati@upthere.net
Subject: Happy Birthday...

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Hey mum, how are you? Look, I am really sorry I can't be there with you right now. Yeah, been quite busy these days, but somehow I can manage to have some relaxing vacations as well. But I would come to your place as soon as I could, ok?

Anyway, I wanted to say Happy Birthday to you.

I know, I know, you don't celebrate your birthday for ages, but hey, as a full-time son, it is my duty to congratulate you every year... Duty? I can see you frowning right now. No, it's not duty, of course; it's because I really want to...

I've been shopping in a mall yesterday, and I can't stop thinking on what present should I give to you. Yes, I know it's kinda hard for me to send it to where you live right now, but still, you know how am I these days, I like to shop.

I wanted to give you a book. Maybe a detective story, I know how you like mysteries and twisted endings. Or a collection of poems. Or a play. Or, I'll just buy you all of those. You're an avid reader, I know that.

Maybe a scarf. I always remember how you were fond of it. The way you wear it on your neck everytime you go to work. Chic? You bet you were. No, you always are. After all, you were the one who taught me how to dress myself.

Anyway, eventhough you are not near me right now, I feel that you are always with me. How could you be so far yet so close at the same time? It still remains a mystery to me, but well, that's a question I don't even attempt to answer. Why bother, right? The most important thing is that we both know that we think of each other.

Everyday.

You know, mum, I like who I become right now. I am not perfect, lot of flaws and things that certain people see as 'unorthodox'. But I live. I embrace life just the way you taught me to do. Because you made me realize whether you know it or not, that life is too beautiful to waste. You put so much love in me, and it gave me strength to carry on...

... even in hard times.

I know what you'd say, 'Life is full of up and downs, son...'

I know that. I am merely riding the waves. Go with the flow. Make the most of every situation.

I simply live to live.

Thanks to you.

Oh well. I have to go back to work right now, mum. Oh, by the way, it's going great. I have so much fun doing what I really like to do. I still remember your words when I announced that I wanted to study art and design, 'At least, an artist in the family.' I am still far from that, mum. But I am exhibiting something right now and it feels good. Pour l'amour de l'art.

Please hug dad for me, mum. I miss you both. But I know you're waiting in the next corner, in the next room.

Until then, I would always be thinking of you guys.

Happy birthday again, mum.

I love you so much,

Rangga.

PS: Oh, could you pass a message to the Landlord: 'thank you for everything...' He knows what I mean.

8 Comments:

  • At 5:44 PM, Blogger rur said…

    This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

     
  • At 5:50 PM, Blogger rur said…

    there are times like this, when us mortals contemplate what we're having in both hands.

    take memories to live with and not to live in =)

    ah, who am I to judge anyway?

    at least I kno that I have a birthday twin! =P

     
  • At 11:15 AM, Blogger F-Word said…

    that's a really touching post you got here.. *speechless* PS: Thank you for the christmas wish! :)

     
  • At 4:25 PM, Blogger dewi said…

    Huhuhuhuhuhuhu...aku terharuuu

     
  • At 5:26 PM, Blogger chaard's chat said…

    wish gue:
    mudah2an gue bener2 bisa tau email address nyokap gue juga disana.

    postingan lo bikin gue inget bbrp hal djuo.

    tx yaa udah ngingetin, secara ga langsung. :)

     
  • At 4:57 PM, Blogger RaNdoMHEarTsOfArMylla said…

    i admire you for keeping the spirits alive alongside your breathing and living healthy...

    :)

     
  • At 4:41 PM, Blogger rangga said…

    rur dear, you have the same spirit of life as she has... to live fully...

    fword, thank you... it just came from inside to my fingers... best way of writing... :)

    dewi, senyum aja lagi... mereka juga maunya kita begitu.

    richie, mereka semua punya alamat yang kita simpen di dalam kita kok, no worries!

    milla, ain't that the only way to live? Well, I don't know about healthy though...

     
  • At 11:50 AM, Blogger ilmaffectional said…

    Another one that makes my words turn to be unspoken.. Huaaa.. cool way of writing, keep it up!

    *guess i become addicted to read your blog!*

     

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