see through me

A bit of my thoughts about life in general and things that keep it worth living...

12.1.04

la fin?

My relative just died yesterday. He is the father of my cousin's husband and he was nearly 84. When I paid my respects this morning, a familiar thought hit me hard in the face; if I died, who will cry for me? I often think about death. I mean, there is nothing more natural than death... I experienced death of my loved ones in my early ages, so I learned how to deal with it the hard way. Now, I am not that afraid of death. The end is not really frightening anymore. I just hope that I could live my life fully and would be able to see life from every possible angle. The thing that scares me the most that if someday I had to go, I might dissapoint my loved ones, I might shatter whatever dreams they put on me. But, truthfully, I am now in peace with death. I even write some epitaphs to put on my own gravestone. Yes, I know, some consider it is a bad karma to even think about it. But, hey, we all know that life is short, so why don't we face the inevitable with open hands and a shining smile? I would love people laugh at my funeral, pour some champagne and sing it loud so they could reach me. Don't be afraid to live because someone just died. Because we all know that after all, the show must go on... and there is nothing nicer than seeing a happy-ending show, isn't it?

As for Mr. Chairul Basri, I think you might like this song from Sinatra. Hope you could hear it from up there.

But now the days grow short
I’m in the autumn of the year
And now I think of my life as vintage wine
from fine old kegs
from the brim to the dregs
And it poured sweet and clear
It was a very good year


By the way, if you want to know what my epitaph would be, it's Lived to Live

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