see through me

A bit of my thoughts about life in general and things that keep it worth living...


On acceptance...

I lived in a foreign country for years. I have passed my teenage in that very country, learning, adapting and eventually blending with the people. I did some hard works to get myself accepted and my unability to communicate was the primal factor of my one and half year of isolation. It sucked. Big time.

But then it changed, as I entered high school, things were getting better. I started to befriend them as I was able to talk in their language and finally I could understand their culture more or less. And that culture was being able to drink until you could only see the world in low-res mode. Yes, I am not ashamed to tell that one of the precious things I've learned there was to drink...

I could talk about it for a while, but that wasn't my intention...

No, I wanted to talk about acceptance.

I did hang around with foreign people. In fact, I practically never hung around with the indonesian people. Two reasons:
1. They were not my age. I prefered drinking and smoking pot instead of playing playstation and "chill".
2. Those who were my age prefered to hang in the upper class bar where a beer costs more than my pants.
Thus, I tended to stick around my high school friends and talked about anything with them. That habit remains until now. I love to talk about nothing... as you could probably notice by reading this blog.

Somebody once told me that it's hard to be accepted within a circle, especially when your on your own in a strange country. I do agree that it takes time, but it is not at all impossible, because after all, you're dealing with human beings. Indeed they got some prejudiced thoughts about you and your country, as you came from a so-called Third World, they expect you to be, you know, inferior. But that is because they don't know. All you have to do is to prove them wrong.

Don't be shy. That's a very big no-no. If you can't talk their language, try harder. If you don't know their culture, learn about it. Be one of them. The best way to do this is to practically cut yourself from your usual circle where you could safely belong. It's hard and harsh... but if you intend to get yourself accepted and also you intend to learn about their culture... that's the only way to fly.

I did that. And I never regret it, because now I have a strong relationship with my old friends and eventhough we are separated by about 20 countries and 2 continents, we remain close. Because after all, what is more valuable than a borderless friendship...

... and the fact that you could always get a free room everytime you visit the country.


  • At 1:01 PM, Blogger F-Word said…

    interesting point on hanging out with the foreigners (eventho' in that particular country, you're the foreigner :P) usually indonesians hangout with other indos, it's not that it's a bad thing... btw, where did you live before?

  • At 7:40 PM, Blogger andreayann said…

    Well well well

    First of all, what you say here touches me a lot (no no rangga not that way)
    But: just one or two things about the acceptance stuff... Don't you think it's better to stay who you are when you're in a foreign country??? Of course (and you're right about that) it's really important to know about the people around you, their culture, their way of doing things, etc.

    But (again) : I think that if you try to "be one of them" you'll betray yourself... If you act like that, there's a great danger to be just a pale copy of them... You'll never be one of them because their all different and you should just accept (as they should do too) that your strength is your difference (a bit kitsch but so much true)! There's also a little problem : nobody will forget where you come from, neither you nor the others around, but it should not be a problem!!!!

    Warnings: I don't want to say that you shouldn't do an effort to be accepted, but the effort is also to stay who you are. If people doesn't like you that way, they're just not worth the effort!!!


    El bourru


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