see through me

A bit of my thoughts about life in general and things that keep it worth living...


ahhhh.. angles...

You know, I been walking through so many paths in my life, some of them were my own choice and some of them are not. I've been raised by differents standards, I've been living in two countries that are culturally opposed and I've seen, known, loved and hated many kinds of people. But in the end, they've built my personality as well. By having a quite colorful background, I like to think that maybe I am becoming able to understand life from different angles. I like to see a problem through a different point of view, I like to think twice (even more) before doing something, I'm always guessing what would people do to me before speaking my thoughts, I am trying to become emphatic. Now, back to the angles. My life is a whole diamond... it has many facets, a million sides, some are brights and some are just dull. Sometimes I just sit there alone, watching the sky, drinking coffee (a very black one for a very bright idea) and I just think about my life. I try to review it slowly, even putting some "what if..." situations. Then I realize that life has angles. It depends where you're at and how you see it... life is a big illusion. I feel like babbling some nonsense right now, but maybe if you give it more thoughts, it will make sense...

Just don't be afraid to see your life differently...


la fin?

My relative just died yesterday. He is the father of my cousin's husband and he was nearly 84. When I paid my respects this morning, a familiar thought hit me hard in the face; if I died, who will cry for me? I often think about death. I mean, there is nothing more natural than death... I experienced death of my loved ones in my early ages, so I learned how to deal with it the hard way. Now, I am not that afraid of death. The end is not really frightening anymore. I just hope that I could live my life fully and would be able to see life from every possible angle. The thing that scares me the most that if someday I had to go, I might dissapoint my loved ones, I might shatter whatever dreams they put on me. But, truthfully, I am now in peace with death. I even write some epitaphs to put on my own gravestone. Yes, I know, some consider it is a bad karma to even think about it. But, hey, we all know that life is short, so why don't we face the inevitable with open hands and a shining smile? I would love people laugh at my funeral, pour some champagne and sing it loud so they could reach me. Don't be afraid to live because someone just died. Because we all know that after all, the show must go on... and there is nothing nicer than seeing a happy-ending show, isn't it?

As for Mr. Chairul Basri, I think you might like this song from Sinatra. Hope you could hear it from up there.

But now the days grow short
I’m in the autumn of the year
And now I think of my life as vintage wine
from fine old kegs
from the brim to the dregs
And it poured sweet and clear
It was a very good year

By the way, if you want to know what my epitaph would be, it's Lived to Live


Observe and laugh...

Have you ever heard of Steve Hofstetter? That guy is a keen observer of human behavior and somehow he manages to make us laugh about it. It is not necessarily funny, but it give you something to think about. I enjoy every line he writes and sometimes I even recognize myself in his witty writing. The example I give you here is about men who have biceps as big and thick as my thigh. Read it for your self:

But arms and drinking are not enough. With Emanuel Lewis-sized muscles, I'll need shorter sleeves. I'll buy shirts with sleeves so short, they will actually go the opposite way of normal sleeves, so that they rise up and cover my neck. No, that won't work – I won't have a neck to cover, because my bulbous shoulders will have out grown it. It won't matter – necks are for suckers.

Just have a laugh at his site dedicated to observational humor

I found another interesting website. An artist was asked to take LSD and do several drawings after, mainly to see how the drug would affect his ability. The result is quite... uhhm... inspiring. Wow, it reminds me of my last acid trip back then. Just go here


cheers to all of you...

Well, well, well... another year passed by... what is the summary of 2003? Allright, here we go...

Coffee (a lot of 'em), few good movies, stupid war, new office, new friends, BLOG (thanks, Enda), Matrix, dogs, 3 Gb worth of downloaded commercials, wrote few short stories, laughs and tears, lot of kisses and hugs, rock and roll, played old games, good books (Rushdie rules!), cool websites, few roadtrips, good deep conversations, slick magazines (Wallpaper!!!), concerts, getting drunk again, work kicking my arse, new gadgets, seeing life differently, anger, sadness, happiness, knocked out by tequila, watched less tv, less sport, played more guitar, pool still rules, did some comic books, getting hooked into writing, explosion of joy when she says she loves me always, singing in and out of tune, dancing through the night, exploring other people's mind, but the most important thing... being loved and love.

So, I raise my cup to you all, wishing you an excellent year to come, may the creativity be with you...


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